A Novel I'm working On-- critiques, please?

[axel]

Wolf Prince


Prologue

They say there's no such place as Heaven. Even if you could search to the edge of the world, there's nothing there. But in spite of it, why am I so driven to find such a place? I close my eyes now, and let death from my wounds take me... but as I fade... a voice calls to me. And it whispers “Search for heaven.” And I swear, as the voice speaks, I feel the icy snow beneath me transform into lush grass, and I can smell the heavenly scent of flowers.

I had fought with my enemy, another werewolf named “Delies.” and died because of my wounds dealt by him even though I had killed him first. And my eyes open... and I can see it, what this place transformed into. I had found Heaven.

I am a Prince, I am a werewolf. I am... Kira. And now the voice speaks again, only this time it whispers “Welcome... To Heaven.” A killer werewolf I was while I had lived, I am now an angel... The Wolf Prince.
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As mentioned, this is a prologue, more will be added as I write. ^^

[axel]

NOTE this is what I got (so far) of Chapter One, more will be edited into this post as I think of more to write.
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Chapter One

Hearing of Heaven



It was snowing in Russia, the date was September 23rd in 2075, a large semi carrying supplies speeding down the highway. A large pack of werewolves chasing after it. One of them threw a bundle of dynamite they had stolen from a local police department's confiscation building at the door in the back. It exploded, blowing a hole in the door. The nearest werewolf then jumped, landing within the hole rather skillfully. A large silver male, the leader, was next with some help from the first.

One by one they managed to get inside the semi, each one with a large burlap sack. About 20 werewolves, and each could carry about 50 of the supplies (all food and drink and such) in their sack. Finally they leaped out just as someone was coming into the back to check what was happening, for they had felt the dynamite hit, but thought they had outran the werewolves. Oh how they were wrong.

The werewolves then got onto their vehicles and sped off each one cheering happily. “We did it! We actually stole from the royals!” Shouted a younger one. The silver male, who was in human form now, looked at him sternfully and said “We did not steal from the royals, we are taking needed supplies to the sick within the city. In my opinion, the royals did us a favor by sending such a large vehicle with the supplies we needed.” The younger werewolf cringed at the leader's stern voice. “Now let's get these supplies handed out in the city, they need them more than we do.”

They had stolen the supplies because an illness and starvation had fallen upon a nearby city, their home. These werewolves were the 'Robin Hood' of the future. Take from the rich, give to the needy. Among them was the silver Leader's mate who wouldn't last much longer without medicine and food.

The royals were greedy, their son, Kira, was a murderous little monster. They ruled over the werewolves and some of their female 'subjects' were even slaves to their son to do with as he pleased. The few that escaped had fled to the city, hoping for a better start.
Nobody could say the parents were any better. Though they weren't as murderous, they were still cruel, wicked werewolves.

As the son would 'Sing' every night, an enchanting, yet creepily terrifying howl, the silver male always commented with “I always hated that noise.” whenever within earshot of the prince's howling.
Though the prince was handsome, he was anything but charming. He was as nasty as a werewolf could come. He didn't even deserve to be a royal, some would say, the same about his parents.

However, his parents, upon learning of their sons fascination with witchcraft, which was greatly frowned upon in the royal family, had shunned him. Turning him out onto the street merely saying “Best of luck in the common world.” and over the next few days he had been beaten and greatly humbled traveling from home to home, begging for a place to the night had humbled him, whilst angry ex-subjects had beaten him until he was practically covered in his own blood.

And now he limped through the streets, latest wounds still dripping with a bit of blood. His royalty clothing had been replaced with typical commoner clothes he had stolen from a nearby home with their clothes hanging on a line in the hopes he wouldn't be so easily recognized, and thus beaten more.

Near to death, he had collapsed on the street, blood pooling around him. That is when he heard the voice for the first time. “The end is coming, I will revive you, but in return, to prove your bravery, courage, and worth, you must search for something... you must search for Heaven on the Earth.”

And when he woke, he was in wolf form, unable to transform back. And there was another werewolf, a fawn and grey splashed one, standing there staring at him. “What are you doing in there, fella?” Kira sighed, thinking So it begins... but when he opened his mouth to speak, only a bark came out. Dammit. He thought as he stood on shaking legs from the loss of blood.